I wanted so much to be alone,
quiet evenings and silent nights.
Now I'm here and drowning in it all
no distraction from this familiar fear,
invisible weight.
You tower over me,
still a child in your gaze.
Cowering at your feet,
eyes closed,
trying to push it out of my mind,
forget where I am...who I am.
The pretty distraction for a tortured mind,
a toy thrown to keep you at bay,
the little doll, forced to dance.
Hands that take without asking,
eyes that look too long,
scents clinging to my tiny arms,
a forced an embrace hidden in the dark of your shadow.
I run and still stand still.
Scream with no sound.
Cry with dry eyes.
And all these moments later
different place, different time,
and I'm at your feet again,
crawling out from under your gaze.
Under the shower,
the constant stream of water,
your scent is faint,
and you, you hold me less,
and less
and less.
