Missing you/me

I miss you

I miss your arms and the weight of your body

I miss the reassurance of your breath in my ear

I miss the safety that comes with knowing you'll hold me all through the night

I miss being the only one in the room you could look at, the light in your eyes and curve in your smile.

I miss the me that used to be....

I miss

Outside

I stand outside, watching and wondering.

Are words angry or spoken in love?

Are questions born of a want to know or in defense of what isn't?

Do you want to know me and where I've walked?

Where I've come from or how I've moved through this maze of maddening lies and hurt we call life?

maybe it's unrealistic; illusions of a reality I can't manifest.

But then, if I stop trying, what would that mean and how would it look?

Do you know what it's like to stand outside?

Where sound is as good as silence for the meaning it carries.

Do you feel lost?

Unable to perform for an audience you cannot see.

Trying to impress, please, perform.

Again.

All in anticipation of the impossible day when they learn the truth of who and what you are.

The day when you fear they will turn to you with eyes of hate, words of anger and hearts that claim only to have known betrayal.

Hung

her picture hangs on your wall

inches from your face,

a marker of place and time,

of unspoken worth.

her picture hangs on your wall

expression unchanging,

eyes staring,

colours unmoved by the dying light.

her picture hangs on your wall

in silent protest,

commanding more than just these 4 by 6 inches of white washed walls

her picture hangs on your wall

and i sit in the corner

waiting for you to call my name.